Title: Betrayal

Author: Doc; angelz_blondie@hotmail.com

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and FOX own them

Dedication: To anyone who has ever been in love.

AN: This isn't my usual stuff. I haven't been myself all day. I had this idea just now and I just really needed to get a bunch of stuff out

Summary: Buffy catches Angel and Faith in Enemies and reflects. Buffy POV

She watched from the doorway as her lover and the brunette hugged one another and she kissed him on the cheek. Her heart broke into a million pieces. She couldnt believe that either of them would do this to her. The man she loved and the one person who knew exactly how hard her life was. She felt like she was going to be sick and ran back into the night. She couldn't possible face him, the bastard. How dare he do this to her after all they had been through in their relationship. She walked down the street, holding her shoulders, trying to comfort herself. He wouldn't do this to her. He loved her. She was his sunshine, breathe, heartbeat, everything vital to a living human being. She was his reason for being, and vice versa. But she had seen it with her own eyes. They had obviously been seeing one another ever since she had fallen off the proverbial wagon, she told herself. Of course she could understand their bond. He had been a killer, The Scourge of Europe. Not by choice, but nevertheless a killer, and she too had killed an innocent. They shared a membership in an unwanted club. Something a goodie goodie by the book girl like herself could never understand. She had trusted that bitch with her life, and now she was going and stabbing her in the back. She felt the bile rising in her throat, and this time she didn't hold back. She threw up and slid down and sat against the dark wall of the cemetery. She felt like her entire existence was being shaken and tossed and turned every which way, and any minute now, the lid would blow off and her rage would unleash on whatever seemed to be near at the moment. She wanted to cry and scream that it wasnt fair. He belonged to her, not to that skank. He was *her* soul mate, her lover, her boyfriend, her mate, her everything. He was the one thing that kept her grounded and sane when she wanted to let go and slip into herself and never emerge again. She felt the tears begin to make tracks down her flushed face and she held her head in her hands and cried. She screamed at whatever god would listen and asked them why? Why had they been given a second chance at love when they knew her heart was only going to be broken, again? She heard footsteps coming towards her and didn't even bother to look up. She wanted the pain and the heartache to be over. She didnt want to have to worry about the world or the self-righteous bastards of the world. She felt a hand on her shoulder and heard him speak her name softly. What the hell does he think he's doing? He's going to come and try to comfort me when hes the cause of my everlasting pain? Him, the one man who I would die for, is the one who causes me the worst pain. Then again, he also gives me the greatest pleasure. He speaks softly too me and asks me why I am crying and out alone in the graveyard. I let out a gnarled cry and launch myself at him, kicking and screaming. He sounds confused and hurt, and I wail on him and ask him why he had to hurt me again and especially with that bitch. He asks me what Im talking about and tries to subdue me, but my rage and pain are too much. I dont think I have ever used my full strength on him. When we train he has always told me not to pull any punches, and to fight him exactly like any normal vamp, but, he's my Angel. I could never bring myself to intentionally hurt him. I begin to tire and I cry and gently beat his chest with my small fists. Hard to believe something so small holds so much power. Its kind of like betrayal. You do something as small as kiss someone on the cheek, or hug them a little too close, and you never realize how much you have hurt the one person who loves you the most. I fall motionless against his huge frame and lie in his embrace silently. He begins to whisper incoherently to me, and I just lie there and listen. He still has no idea why I attacked him. I don't even really know why I did it. Its not like kicking his ass would help anything. I begin to get to my feet and he sits up and looks at me with his dark chocolate pools that I so often get lost in.

I saw you.

There, I said it. How can he lie to me when he knows I know the truth? I see confusion come into his vision.

Buffy, I..

Just stop. I cant deal right now ok.

I turn and run back towards the entrance of the cemetery and back towards my house. I climb in my window and fall onto my bed. Im too tired. To tired to cry, or think, or do anything but sleep. I feel my eyelids grow heavy and I let them drop. I feel him watching me, but I fall into the waiting slumber and don't get up and tell him to leave and ask him why he thinks he has the right to love me any more. My dreams are blank and Im happy for once theres no impending doom for me to deal with. The fact that my boyfriend is cheating on me with my sister slayer is enough darkness and gloom for me to deal with at the moment. I wake to the warm rays of sunshine on my face and get up and go about my morning routine. Everything seems to move in slow motion and I can't quite get the picture of them together out of my mind. I grab my books and head out the door towards school, but get distracted. I find myself at the mansion and go inside. I find him sleeping in his room and sit and watch him sleep. I look at his beautiful face and I decide that I have already forgiven him. I remember when he was Angelus and we were dealing with the ghosts of James and Grace, Giles told me that people don't forgive because its deserved, the forgive because they love the person. Betrayal hasn't won this battle.